The Phall Curry, the heat pinnacle of the UK Curry House. A Phall is where you go when Vindaloo no longer hits the spot. It’s the last mountain to be climbed for those chasing the heat on a night out. It’s also brought many a person to their knees in regret.
A Phall is what I order when I go to an Indian Restaurant or Takeaway, or another dish but Phall hot. The heat varies from Restaurant to Restaurant, as does the quality. Many places simply go overboard with the chillies and sacrifice the flavour for heat. It’s a prime example of anyone can make something hot, but hot and tasty is an entirely different thing. But for those that can get it right, it can be a delicious meal that will have you going back for more.
Mr Vikki’s UK Superhot Phall is the first Phall Curry Sauce I’ve ever bought to make at home so this one was going to be interesting.
Being somewhat familiar with Mr Vikki’s products I felt I was in safe hands from the start. I’m the chief Curry maker in our household, mainly from books from a Guy who knows a lot about Curry, but sometimes I just want to be lazy. My local Indian I’ve been going to for years and am well known there and they like to challenge themselves to hurt me whenever I go in for a meal. They’ve come close a couple of times, not that I’d tell them that.
Why am I comparing this to those? Well because this sauce us a BIR Curry Sauce, That’s British Indian Restaurant for those not in the know. It’s a bit a divisive term to use but the general idea is that it’s the kind of flavour you can expect to find a, well, British Indian Restaurant and not an authentic dish from India.
The jar gives you the ingredients, all the basics you’d imagine and nothing that will suprise you. Onions, Tomatoes, Garlic, Cabbage and, well you know what goes into a curry so I won’t bore you with all the details. Well, maybe one more detail as it’s listed on bold red writing, we’re looking at this sauce being 7% Superhot Chillies.
The jar doesn’t say which Chillies but according to the Mr Vikki’s website page for the sauce we’re dealing with toasted Birds Eye, Nagas, Habanero and Chipotle.
Now. I’m not a massive fan of Birds Eye chillies. It’s the only chilli I don’t like the taste of, I find them a little on the bitter side. And yes, I know I’m in the minority on that one, they’re a popular chilli for a lot of people.
Opening up the jar is a delight, the aroma almost instantly takes you to your favourite Restaurant. It’s hard to explain but I imagine it’s the one that most people associate with an Indian Restaurant, or your kitchen the night after an Indian takeaway.
The sauce is a dark thick red, the oil sits atop almost gloating. It certainly looks the part.
There are almost no instructions given on *how* to cook your Curry on the jar but given that is a Phall it’s safe to assume that this isn’t your first rodeo when it comes to making a Curry.
I took the root of making it like I would make my very own Curry recipe.
First of all I fried a chopped onion up in some Ghee until they’d gone that nice translucent colour.
I then added in some sliced chillies, some red onion and a yellow bell pepper.
And then finally the chicken. I won’t add a picture of that, nobody needs to see it.
When it came to add the sauce I emptied the jar into the pan. The one instruction the jar does have is that once you’ve done this then to use the jar filled with water to thin out the sauce. A wise man once told me that “water is a wasted flavour” so I opted to use some chicken stock instead.
Before I knew it I was staring down the loaded end of a Mr Vikkis UK Superhot Phall.
I’ve got to say at this point my kitchen smelled amazing!
So meal made, the only thing left to do now was eat it. I threw some rice in a pan, some naan bread in the oven and I was away.
Now. First impressions. They weren’t great. It somehow didn’t taste as I’d imagined, it seemed to be lacking something. Or maybe there was something about it that didn’t sit quite right with me.
And, I don’t know why because before long I couldn’t shovel it in my face quick enough. It seems as though each fork contained something a little bit different for some reason, but the cumulative taste was to die for, absolutely die for. Each mouthful seemed to get better and better, I can’t say for sure but I’m reasonably sure I was making noises best not thought about.
As for the Heat. Well. Yes, there is a good deal of heat but I expected more. This wasn’t the Phall level of heat I was and am used to by a long way. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I dare say a good majority of people would find this on the top end of their limit. But, being the broken and battle hardened Chillihead that I am, it didn’t quite hit the high note.
Not that it took anything away from the overall meal, it was delicious and one I’ve eaten many times since.
And, no. The fact it uses Birds Eye chilli didn’t bother me, though it was occurred to me that *maybe* it was that, that put me off after my first bite. I soon got over it anyways.
The jar advises that it’ll serve 4 – 6 people, I’d say there was a good four portions using the method I used to make it. If you’re the only Chillihead in the family then I can also sat that if you freeze the leftovers and come back to it later the flavours will marinate more and it tastes even better. It might even be worth making just so you can freeze it.
Would I recommend it? – Oh yes indeed. Since my original purchase I’ve gone back for more a couple of times, it’s the ultimate cheat curry to have in my cupboard when I don’t have the time or the inclination to make one from scratch. I honestly can’t imagine my kitchen cupboard without this in now.
Now then. Going back to the lack of heat for a moment. You need not worry because I’ve found that Mr Vikki’s does have a solution for this in the form of other products, with a simple adjustment we can being this Phall to the levels that it needs to be. You see Mr Vikkis also do a fine line of Pickles and Chutneys as well.
If you’re lucky enough then you might still have a jar of Rangoon Naga in your cupboard. It was part of the Chilli Mafia brand from Mr Vikkis but it seems to have been discontinued for now. Failing that, Hell Hot Habanero is a good alternative to use, or Raj Naga is another I’d recommend. The Raj Naga isn’t quite as hot as Rangoona Naga or Hell Hot Habanero but it does the trick.
I’ve tried all three of those options by adding a teaspoon or two to the onions as I fry them at the start of the cook.
There are of course a wide range of alternatives from Mr Vikki’s to use but I’ve not tried those (yet) but I do know that you can fix the heat in the Phall, and keep the flavour using one of those three. And, as you’ll be ordering this you might as well pop one of those in your basket as well. I seriously doubt you’d have any regrets.
Mr Vikkis UK Superhot Phall is available on their website, you can find it by clicking > Here <
It’s also sometimes available on Amazon* alongside various other Mr Vikki’s products, you can find those > Here <